A beach in Benidorm, Spain, before the coronavirus crisis | David Ramos / Getty Images
Declassified
The pandemic imposes new humiliations on us every day.
Welcome to Declassified, a weekly column that examines the lighter side of politics.
(Important note: I am not a doctor and I suspect that the Doctor Rock & # 39; n & # 39; Roll in the song Black Sabbath either.)
We will have to get used to a lot of changes when / if we get out on the other side of the coronavirus crisis, and now that includes an additional humiliation in flight.
Yes, Ryanair passengers will have to ask if they want to go to the bathroom during a flight (maybe they'll install a new poo emoji button next to the ones that will give you a breath of cold air or alert the cabin crew).
The airline announced plans to restart 40% of its flights in July, hoping travel restrictions have been lifted and people really want to fly, and have released a return to fly. video
which informs passengers of what to do before going to the airport and when they get there (even useful enough for the airline, paying more for priority boarding) .
On board, queuing to go to the toilet will be prohibited, but passengers will be able to use the facilities "on demand", as at primary school. There will undoubtedly be many occasions when people will raise their hands to ask to go to the bathroom, then feel the eyes of the other passengers on them and buy scratch cards and a bottle of Paco Rabanne instead. It was unclear in the video whether the cabin crew would deliver individual sheets of toilet paper, or whether passengers in first class seats would receive additional paper or whether the jury for the CEO of Ryanair, Michael O & # 39; Leary, would file a complaint for the use of the sink. It wouldn't be a surprise if he did what in 2009, launched a "pay a pound to spend a penny" plan that was only ruined by technical problems.
There are already major changes for those who prefer to stay on the ground. The authorities of the Belgian region of Bredene have announced the closure from the only nudist beach in the country throughout the summer (which is actually about three days of real sun). Instead, the space will be used to allow additional social distancing for the sworn enemy of the naked swimmer, the clothed swimsuit.
Of course, if your idea of a good time is to stroll along a beach on the North Sea coast, the social distance is as normal as the people who point, laugh and wander. 39; flee.
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Thanks for all the contribution. Here is the best of our post bag (no price except the gift of laughter, which I think we can all accept is much more precious than money or alcohol).
"French government protests reach new levels: striking schoolchildren take President Macron hostage" by Sebastian Jester
Paul Dallison is HEAVEN32slot news editor.