Over the past month, there has been intense discussion about how sports leagues could make stadiums empty in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic a little less empty. KBO, for example, recently collected cardboard cutouts from the stands.
A suggestion, which has already been implemented in the Taiwan baseball league, You place mannequins on empty seats. The theoretical advantage of this over cardboard cutouts is the additional realism.
In practice, however, the models are terrifying. Please do not use mannequins, MLB.
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What brought us to this anti-dummy conclusion? Images of Virgin-based restaurant that fills empty tables with clothed plastic figures. Apart from the horror and the most courageous moviegoers, the place is a forbidden place for those who wish to live a relaxing dining experience.
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Waiters in the dining room at the Inn at Little Washington will apparently serve the models' wine and ask questions. Seriously.
Now imagine vendors going up and down the halls of baseball stadiums, going from peanuts and Cracker Jack to haunting dolls. A stretch of the seventh inning where models should sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" in unison.
It is a world where we hope we will never live.