En 5 breves palabras, el CEO de McDonald’s estaba mostrando una falta total de inteligencia emocional.

Esta es una historia sobre McDonald’s, la inteligencia emocional y lo que sucede cuando alguien casi no muestra inteligencia emocional.

Si lo encuentra interesante o útil, le recomiendo que descargue y lea mi libro electrónico gratuito. Mejorando la inteligencia emocional 2021, lo que puedas Encontraras aqui.

Aquí está el trasfondo. Comienza con dos tragedias en Chicago a principios de este año:

  • Primero, la policía de Chicago mató a tiros a un niño de 13 años llamado Adam Toledo.
  • Luego, una niña de 7 años llamada Jaslyn Adams fue asesinada mientras estaba sentada en un McDonald’s de Chicago.

El día después del tiroteo que mató a Adams, la alcaldesa Lori Lightfoot visitó la sede de McDonald’s en Chicago. Habló con el director ejecutivo Chris Kempczinski y luego Kempczinski le escribió al alcalde Lightfoot.

Los activistas finalmente utilizaron una solicitud de la Ley de Libertad de Información para averiguar qué le había dicho. Lo que resultó ser la parte más importante, los textos de Kempczinski dicen lo siguiente:

“ps tiroteos trágicos la semana pasada, tanto en nuestro restaurante ayer como con Adam Toldeo. Con ambos, los padres abandonaron a estos niños lo que sé no se puede decir. Aún más difícil de reparar “.

Destaqué las cinco palabras clave: “los padres abandonaron a estos niños. ”

Siguieron protestas, en las que Kempczinski culpó a sus padres. En una carta abierta, algunos trabajadores de McDonald’s y grupos comunitarios calificaron el mensaje de Kempczinski de “ignorante, racista e inaceptable”.

Portavoz del alcalde comentó: “Opfershaming no tiene cabida en esta conversación”.

Los trabajadores ordinarios también estaban enojados. Como empleado de McDonald’s dijo WBEZ de Chicago:

“No conoce las circunstancias de estos padres. [He’s] culpar a los padres por la violencia callejera. No puede involucrarse porque es rico y nosotros no, y no comprende nuestra lucha “.

Después de la reacción violenta, Kempczinski escribió a todos los empleados corporativos de McDonald’s en los EE. UU. Esta semana para explicar a Lightfood cómo surgió su mensaje de texto y quizás para disculparse, aunque en realidad nunca usó esa palabra.

Tuve la oportunidad de revisar lo que escribió y, si puedo resumirlo, realmente se reduce a una simple afirmación: una violación de todas las reglas básicas sobre cómo piensan las personas emocionalmente inteligentes en conversaciones importantes.

Analicemos todo utilizando el “cuasi-mea-culpa” de Kempczinski como guía:

Regla # 1: Preséntese en la posición de su audiencia.

Las personas emocionalmente inteligentes se dan cuenta de que casi nadie ve el mundo exactamente desde su perspectiva.

A veces eso está bien, pero a veces, por ejemplo, si es el director ejecutivo de una de las corporaciones más grandes del mundo con ventas anuales de $ 10 millones, depende de usted poner un esfuerzo adicional en ello.

Kempczinski admite directamente que no hizo esto:

“Pensé a través de mi lente como padre y reaccioné internamente. Pero no seguí los pasos de la familia de Adam o Jaslyn y de tantos otros que se enfrentan a una realidad completamente diferente”.

Yo iría un paso más allá: él no era solo no Pensó en sus padres, eso era crucial, por supuesto, pero no pensó en cómo el alcalde, el personal de McDonald’s y la ciudad percibirían sus palabras.

Un poco de empatía ayuda mucho, pero aparentemente la falta de empatía puede ir más allá.

Regla 2: deténgase y piense antes de actuar.

Hay momentos en los que actuar rápidamente sin pensar es mejor que actuar deliberadamente.

Pero estos tiempos son la excepción a la regla. Y enviar mensajes de texto al alcalde de la tercera ciudad más grande de EE. UU. (Sabiendo que no se espera privacidad en este tipo de comunicación, como ciertamente debería hacerlo el CEO de McDonald’s) definitivamente no es una excepción a esa regla.

Kempczinski sabe que fue un error no tomarse el tiempo para reconsiderar lo dicho.

“Estuvo mal no tomarse el tiempo para pensar en ello desde su punto de vista”, escribió, “y me faltó la empatía y la compasión que tengo por estas familias”.

Lección aprendida, aunque apuesto a que desearía haber aprendido antes.

Regla n. ° 3: muestre bondad estratégica.

La bondad y la empatía son subproductos de la inteligencia emocional, no los objetivos. En cambio, la inteligencia emocional se trata de ser consciente de las emociones y usarlas para que sea más probable que pueda lograr sus objetivos.

Dicho esto, la amabilidad puede ser un objetivo en sí mismo, y mostrar amabilidad puede hacer que las personas sean más receptivas a lo que tienes que decir.

Con esto en mente, fue muy cruel afirmar, pocos días después de los horribles disparos de un niño de 13 y 7 años, que los padres eran los culpables.

Esto sería cierto incluso si Kempczinski de alguna manera pensara que podría fundamentar su afirmación. (No estoy diciendo que creo que podría; solo supongo que probablemente pensó que podría si pensara en decirlo).

Independientemente, la decencia humana prácticamente exige que mantenga el fuego en esta situación. Es mucho mejor estar en silencio que jugar al detective de sillón de una manera que dice que aquellos que probablemente sufrirán más deben soportar la carga.

Vive y aprende

Es irónico al escribir sobre esta situación que me sienta obligado a intentar escribir con inteligencia emocional: hacer una pausa, ponerme en la piel de los demás, escribir con amabilidad donde pueda.

Y la tentación de expresar simpatía por Kempczinski es grande: ¿Quién de nosotros no ha dicho algo que luego lamentamos y no se lee para sí mismo?

La diferencia es que Kempczinski no solo escribe para sí mismo; Escribe como CEO de una de las corporaciones más famosas del mundo a la que se le pagó más de $ 10 millones el año pasado (un año bajo debido a Covid) y que tiene muchas más responsabilidades que la mayoría de nosotros.

No sé si está describiendo honestamente las lecciones que ha aprendido, o si realmente quiere escribir mejores mensajes, o si le importa un poco liderar con inteligencia emocional.

Pero tú y yo podemos. De ahí el libro electrónico gratuito que mencioné: Mejorando la inteligencia emocional 2021, lo que puedas Descarga aquí.

Incluso si Kempczinski no parece haberlo leído, creo que lo encontrará útil. Y tal vez la lectura hace que sea un poco menos probable que algún día tengas que escribir un “cuasi-mea-cupla” como él lo hizo.

Las opiniones expresadas aquí por los columnistas de Heaven32 son propias, no de Heaven32.

, which you can find here.  n Here's the background. It starts with two tragedies in Chicago earlier this year:  n
    t
  • First, a 13-year-old named Adam Toledo was shot and killed by Chicago police. 
  • t
  • Then, a 7-year-old girl named Jaslyn Adams was killed while sitting in a Chicago McDonald's drive-through. 
n The day aHeaven32er the shooting that took Adams's life, Mayor Lori Lightfoot visited McDonald's headquarters in Chicago. She spoke with CEO Chris Kempczinski, and then Kempczinski texted Mayor Lightfoot. n Activists eventually used a Freedom of Information Act request to learn what he said to her. In what turned out to be the most important part, Kempczinski's texts read like this: n
"p.s. tragic shootings in last week, both at our restaurant yesterday and with Adam Toldeo. With both, the parents failed those kids
which I know is something you can't say. Even harder to fix."
n I've highlighted the five key words: "the parents failed those kids."  n Protests ensued, blasting Kempczinski for blaming the parents. In an open letter, some McDonald's workers and community groups called Kempczinski's message: "ignorant, racist and unacceptable." n The mayor's spokesperson commented: "Victim shaming has no place in this conversation."  n Rank-and-file workers were upset, too. As one McDonald's employee told Chicago's WBEZ:  n
"He doesn't know the circumstances of these parents. [He's] putting the blame on parents for the violence in the streets. He can't relate because he is wealthy, and we are not, and he doesn't understand our struggle."
n AHeaven32er the backlash, Kempczinski wrote to all McDonald's corporate employees in the U.S. this week explain the genesis of his text to Lightfood, and maybe to apologize -- although he never actually used that word. n I've had the chance to review what he wrote, and if I can summarize, it really comes down to a simple proposition: a violation of all of the most basic rules of how emotionally intelligent people think through important conversations. n Let's break it all down, using Kempczinski's "quasi-mea-culpa" as a guide: n

Rule #1: Imagine yourself in your audience's position.

n Emotionally intelligent people realize that almost nobody else sees the world from exactly their perspective.  n Sometimes that's fine, but other times -- say, for example, when you're the $10 million-a-year CEO of one of the world's largest corporations -- it's up to you to make the extra effort. n Kempczinski admits right upfront that he didn't do that here: n
"I was thinking through my lens as a parent and reacted viscerally. But I have not walked in the shoes of Adam's or Jaslyn's family and so many others who are facing a very different reality."
n I'd take that a step further: He wasn't just not thinking about the parents--obviously that was crucial--but he also wasn't thinking about how his words would be perceived by the mayor, and McDonald's employees, and the city writ large. n A little bit of empathy goes a long way, but apparently a lack of empathy can go even further. n

Rule #2: Stop and think before you act.

n There might be some times when acting quickly, without thinking, is better than deliberative action. n But those times are the exception to the rule. And, texting to the mayor of the third-largest U.S. city (knowing, as the CEO of McDonald's certainly should, that there is no expectation of privacy in that kind of communication), is definitely not an exception to that rule. n Kempczinski knows it was a mistake not to take the time to think through what he was saying. n "Not taking the time to think about this from their viewpoint was wrong," he wrote, "and lacked the empathy and compassion I feel for these families." n Lesson learned -- albeit one I'll bet he wishes he'd learned earlier. n

Rule #3: Show strategic kindness.

n Kindness and empathy are side-products of emotional intelligence, not the goals. Instead, emotional intelligence is about being aware of emotions and leveraging them to make it more likely that you can achieve your goals.  n That said, kindness can be a goal in and of itself--and demonstrating kindness can lead people to be more receptive to what you have to say. n With that backdrop, it was very unkind, just days aHeaven32er the horrific shooting deaths of a 13-year-old and a 7-year-old, to suggest that the parents were to blame. n This would be true even if Kempczinski somehow thought he could back up his claim. (I'm not saying I think he could; I'm just surmising that he probably thought he could, if he thought to say it.) n Regardless, human decency practically begs that you hold your fire in that situation. Much better to remain silent, than to play armchair detective in a way that says those who likely grieve the most should shoulder the burden. n

Live and learn

n There is an irony in writing about this situation in that I feel compelled to try to write with emotional intelligence: to pause, to put myself in the shoes of others, to write with kindness where I can. n And there's a temptation to express sympathy for Kempczinski: Who among us hasn't said something he or she later regretted, and even cringed to read? n The difference is that Kempczinski isn't just writing for himself; he's writing as the CEO of one of the world's most iconic companies, who was paid more than $10 million last year (a low year, in fact, due to Covid), and who has much more responsibility than most of us have. n I don't know if he's sincere in describing the lessons he's learned, or if he truly wants to craHeaven32 better messages, or if he cares a whit about leading with emotional intelligence. n But you and I can. Hence, the free ebook I mentioned: Improving Emotional Intelligence 2021, which you can download here.  n Even if Kempczinski apparently hasn't read it, I think you'll find it useful. And maybe reading it will make it just a little bet less likely you'll have to write a "quasi-mea-cupla" someday like he did, too. 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